My spiritual teachers use this phrase:  “Love Wins.”   That phrase has been rattling around in my head for about 5 years.    I love its simplicity and power.  It’s a reminder that the strongest power is love and it will prevail.

In thinking about “Love Wins” another simple phrase came to mind recently: “Just Love” 

What could this simple phrase mean?

Just Love yourself

Just Love others

Just Love your work

Just Love your play

Just Love the Earth

Just Love animals

Just Love <fill in the blank>

Just bring Love to everything.

Just Love.

Just Love and everything will be better.

This phrase really resonates with me as a directive, lens through which to see life and a wonderful focal point for attention/consciousness.

My Story.  The American Dream

So many people do not love themselves….so many people have never experienced love from their families and others.  I fell into both of these categories until about 5 years ago.  Growing up, my parents never told me they loved me and they were not affectionate.  My Dad is 84 years old and I think has hugged me twice.  I grew up being scared of the word, “Love,” and thought it was this mysterious, mystical, very rare thing.  My family was also not involved in church so I don’t have a religious background.  

Navigating my way through life…..on the outside I was very successful; attended a good college and played collegiate golf. After college I worked in IT and eventually started my own company. I ran two successful companies for close to 10 years. During that time I was married and had a child and bought and sold 6 houses. On the outside I was living the dream, and by all appearances, I had “made it.” 

So why did I wake up every morning filled with terror wanting to kill myself? There was no Love in any area of my life; just striving for success and achievements.

I didn’t love my wife.  I didn’t love the work I was doing. I hated it even though I was really good at my job. I didn’t love my clients, and they didn’t love me. I didn’t love myself because I knew I wasn’t living the life I should be living.  I just worked, achieved and got up the next day and did it again.  I also neglected my physical body and needs for sleep and typically never got more than 4 hours of sleep and in many cases zero hours of sleep.

And Then I Snapped…Nervous Breakdown

It’s hard to explain to others what an actual psychotic break (nervous breakdown) is like.  For me I think my mind basically hit the limit of absolute exhaustion of thinking and worry and decided to create a new reality to slow me down and break me out of the cycle and to protect me.  

My break lasted approximately two weeks. During that time I was convinced I was a CIA agent and that I was going to be picked up and taken to Europe.  I gave away all of my possessions that I thought I couldn’t take to Europe, which was just about everything I owned. I just kept loading things in my car and taking them to the thrift store.  

I then walked the streets of my very expensive neighborhood day and night waiting to be picked up.  The locals thought I was homeless and started giving me jackets and food.  During this time I was living in a $2m house 100 yards from the ocean.  I eventually slowly came back to reality and realized no one was coming to get me.  I moved out of the ocean house and into my broken down beach motorhome.

And Then Spirit Stepped In…

There is 1 moment in my life where I am positive Spirit stepped in to save me/help me/direct me.   My first night in the motorhome after the nervous breakdown I was parked next to a couple that would save my life and change it forever – Joe and Denise.  They invited me over for a cheeseburger.  I was initially very skeptical of them – they both seemed extremely happy and calm…I thought there had to be a catch.  There was no catch.  They were and continue to be just amazing, beautiful people that are on this planet to help others and spread love.  They are a miracle in the world we live in.  I consider them my true family.  Since meeting them the first night I have become one of their spiritual ‘students.’

Healing / Finding My New Way

After the nervous breakdown my outward life was incinerated.  I lost my compan(ies) and all assets.  Surrendered my car.  Filed Chapter 7 bankruptcy.  I was forced to work in a position I was highly over qualified for and highly underpaid for to get by.  I rented a room because that’s all I could afford.  Things were not good and I saw no path forward.  I picked out a spot in my closet where I was going to hang myself.  Before I did it I decided to send a text to Denise which read:  “I think I need some help.”  Within an hour Denise’s car was outside to pick me up and take me back to her community – The Love Ranch Sanctuary.  This was my first official visit and I spent a couple of weeks detoxing, resting, crying, learning.  A shift occurred in me during this visit where I finally opened up my heart (because of all the love I received)…I let love in and my priorities completely reversed.  My world flipped upside down.  I started looking at life through the focus of love vs. profit/achievement/etc and decided I wanted that to be the focus of how I built my life going forward.  Since that initial magical few weeks my life has slowly continued changing for the better as it’s taken a different trajectory and has mirrored the calming of the storm inside me.  There is very little conflict in my life.  I love the reason I’m doing the work I’m doing. I’ve learned so much about myself, spirituality, love, human nature, etc. and I’m so grateful and excited for that to continue.

The Love Ranch Sanctuary

Today I am extremely fortunate to live at The Love Ranch Sanctuary and support it however I can.  I’ve witnessed miracle after miracle of souls visiting and being transformed at this magical, sacred place.   Our Love-tribe is growing with so many beautiful souls coming to heal, coming to visit, coming to live, coming to learn.  I am inspired every day just by having the privilege of living in this community.

Due to the final awakening of my heart after 46 years and the miracle it has been for me, my intention is to awaken the hearts of as many other people as possible.    

Just Love

JW